B-Movie Reviews


A horrifying tale of a world without springs, made even more horrifying by a demonic little spring-sprite named Coily.


Most people think they have a pretty good handle on what a bad movie is…most people have never seen a Joseph Lai production.


If you glean nothing else from this review, know this: I love Carmen Electra.


“One of the ten most important films of modern times.” -Susan Sontag.
Lesson learned? Never take film recommendations from Susan Sontag.


Beautiful women, big guns, massive explosions, tons of ridiculously filthy insults, and a machine gun-wielding midget. Were I still twelve years old, I’m sure I would consider Bitch Slap to be the greatest movie ever made.


Adorable, fuzzy, little teddy bears, accompanied by two useless children, do battle with an evil space giant!


The story of a Lovecraftian, shape-shifting, nightmare-reptile which invades the dreams of impressionable youths…or something like that.


Some movies are considered “So bad, they’re good.” This is not one of those movies.


Deadly Prey is silly, derivative, and mind-bendingly stupid. And if you are like me, you’ll love every damn second of it.


A short film that proves what everyone already knows: It’s downright hilarious to watch other people fall on their asses.


Three Satanists go wandering into Satan’s psychedelic backwoods. Surprisingly, things don’t go well.


Diminutive Filipino action star, Weng Weng, kicks everyone right in the old beanbag before flying away with his jet pack, in this ridiculous James Bond spoof.


A killer tree, known as the Tabonga, seeks vengeance for its untimely death. This one jumps right off the old goof-o-meter!


David Carradine enforces the law with a little help from his two trusty revolvers and a remote-controlled, flying power glove.


A giant, fire-breathing turtle awakens from his centuries-long slumber to wreak havok on Japan and befriend a small boy.


Irrefutable proof that strippers have always been just a bit nutty.


This one is a strong contender for the title of “Worst Godzilla Film Not Directed by Roland Emmerich.”


Real-life gymnast, Kurt Thomas, uses his deadly combination of martial arts and gymnastics—and one fortuitously placed pommel horse—to win “The Game.”


“Rowdy” Roddy Piper battles giant frog-people while wearing a steel-plated chastity belt to protect his precious man-chowder. This is a quality b-movie.


Mix two parts exploitation with one part fundamentalist Baptist rants; sprinkle liberally with Commies; bake for about an hour on bat-spit insane, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for one helluva movie!


Earth is invaded by a squat, conical, lobster-armed, Venusian space pickle in what is possibly the finest example of a b-movie ever produced.


A hippie, biker Jesus and his gang of burnout disciples decide to head out west and “stick it to the Man.”


Allow me to state the obvious: Killdozer may be the greatest b-movie title of all time.


Peter Graves takes on googly-eyed aliens and their horde of giant, irradiated beasts…it sounds cooler than it is.


Lord Doom sends the giant monster, Kraa to destroy Earth. Our only hope is a small, slimy space-snail named Mogyar.


Peter Jackson’s (yup, that Peter Jackson) vulgar, violent, and unrelentingly offensive take on The Muppet Show.


There is only one film which is truly worthy of being called
“The Worst Film Ever Made.” And that film is Monster A-Go Go.


An alien soldier takes possession of an unlucky biker and transforms him and his ride into an unstoppable killing machine.


This film has the unimaginable power to suck all positive feelings from its viewers like some kind of merciless black hole of hate.


A made-for-TV movie about a furry, smart-ass, alien midget?
Sounds good to me!


To answer your first question, yes, someone actually made a Godzilla parody featuring an enormous ass. And yes, it is every bit as stupid and bizarre as you are probably thinking.


Roller Gator is 83 minutes of pure, unadulterated pain, masquerading as a lighthearted kiddie film. Torment, thy name is Roller Gator.


One of the most hilariously-entertaining movies ever. I mean, this film features not one, but two, floor-buffer chase scenes. What else do you need?


I’m quite certain the world in general, and myself in particular, would’ve been perfectly content without a XXX parody of SpongeBob SquarePants.


Robert Vaughn stars as a not-so-teenage, teenage caveman in this 1958 Roger Corman classic.


The touching tale of a young woman and her love for a wrestling squid man…wait, that makes it sound weird.


After twenty-five years away, Mike Danton is back to unleash more death and destruction on Col. Hogan and his band of hapless halfwits.


A giant, inter-dimensional, anti-matter, space turkey invades Earth and crunches all sorts of model airplanes. All fear the Space Turkey!


A giant monster terrorizes a small Texas town and our hero is armed with little more than a ukelele and “The Mushroom Song.”


Assassinations, ninjas, talking decapitated heads, giant fire-breathing frogs, and a freaking dragon—this movie has it all!


An alien crashes to Earth and starts eating everyone in sight. It’s up to Mike—armed with his extensive knowledge of horror movies—to save the day.


The adventures of Catman begin! Sadly, there isn’t one hairball to be found in the entire film.


A giant, fire-breathing lizard wreaks havoc on Korea…and dances.