2003 | Color | 96min
Starring: Bill Devlin, Dani Leon, Jean Black, Jim Rainey, Alex W. Chen, Michael R. Thomas, Robert Clements, David Chan, Al Frees, Hiromi Nishiyama, and Rachel Morihiro.
Directed By: Mark Pirro
Have you ever had one of those weeks where nothing seems to go your way? You know, a week where your truck breaks down, your old dog dies, and your girlfriend leaves you for your brother. One of those weeks where you could swear you were living out the plot of an old-time country song. Well the next time you are having one of those stretches, just remember the tale of poor Waldo Williams.
Hey look, we all got problems man.
Waldo Williams is definitely having himself one of those weeks. He’s stuck in a lousy dead end job at the post office. One of his co-workers has an unhealthy preoccupation with his bathroom habits (“You wipe good?”) and another is having an affair with his wife. A wife, I might add, who may very well be trying to kill him to collect on his insurance policy. To top things off, his backside — thanks in part to an unfortunate encounter with the dreaded Mexican Butt-Humping Bullfrog — has detached itself from his body and is wreaking havoc on the fine city of Los Angeles.
An enormous ass destroying Hollywood…Insert James Cameron joke here.
To answer your first question, yes, someone actually made a Godzilla parody featuring a titanic tuchus.* And yes, it is every bit as stupid and bizarre as you’re probably thinking. Director Mark Pirro (Curse of the Queerolf, Nudist Colony of the Dead) — known for his films’ low budget and lowbrow nature — spends Rectuma’s entire running time gleefully splashing around in the sheer absurdity of a humongous homicidal hinder.* Rest assured, if there were two ways to go with a scene, Mr. Pirro took the low road without fail. If you are looking for subtle, nuanced humor here, you are going to be very disappointed. Gay jokes, scatological humor, terrible puns — Rectuma’s got ’em all in spades.
Dr. Wansamsaki explains the scientific principle of ASS-eleration.
Sadly Mr. Pirro didn’t seem to have a good handle on what exactly he was trying to parody. The film loses focus quite often and meanders off on completely bizarre tangents which, while occasionally entertaining, ultimately subtract from the film as a whole. As a result, the film comes off more as a loosely-connected series of comedy sketches than a coherent spoof of giant monster flicks. In my opinion, the film would have been much better served if the focus would have been pulled much tighter around the giant monster aspect. There are several scenes which accomplish little more than distracting us from the fact that there happens to be a killer keister on the loose. On a personal note, I could certainly have done without any scene involving the hygiene-challenged proctologist (“Man, never got three in there before.” Ugh…).
Movie Rule #1: Know your audience.
Despite Rectuma’s many shortcomings, there are quite a few bright spots. Jean Black’s impersonation of Jodie Foster, while bizarrely out of place, is amazingly spot-on. The intentionally poorly-dubbed, Mr. Tashira — whose comedic impact is somewhat dulled by the fact that the entire film is somewhat poorly-dubbed — put me immediately in the mind of the similar character in Kung Phooey, and since both films were released in 2003, I’m not sure exactly who is ripping off whom, or if it was simply a happy coincidence. The running theme song in particular, sung by Rectuma’s version of the Mothra Twins, is hilarious and much to my horror I’ve actually found myself humming it a time or two since my initial viewing.
“Dammit Balki, you’re not a proctologist!”
Yes, Waldo (Bill Devlin) resembles the mutant lovechild of Gene Wilder and Larry from “Perfect Strangers,” and some of the special effects appear to have been done with MS Paint, and I’m fairly certain I actually felt my IQ drop slightly while watching it, but I think I would still recommend Rectuma, if for no other reason than the sheer weirdness of a film that features a pair of Brobdingnagian* buttocks destroying downtown L.A. You can accuse Mark Pirro of many things, but you definitely can’t accuse him of making boring films. You will either hate this film because of how relentlessly crass and stupid it is, or you will love it for the exact same reason. Whatever your response may be, I doubt you’ll soon forget it.
Behold the terrible visage of the Mexican Butt-Humping Bullfrog!
Reviewed by Derek Miller
Posted November 27, 2012
* Pronounced, “Took-us.” Yiddish for butt.
* Pronounced ,“Hine-der.” MST3k fan-speak for “butt.”
* Oh geez, read a book!
Video Clip
This is a clip from a movie starring a gigantic, rampaging butt. What the heck do you expect me to write here?
