1988 | Color | 88 min
Starring: Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman, Cec Verell, William Smith, Rory Calhoun, Julius LeFlore, Kristi Sommers, Nicholas Worth, RCB, and Eyde Byrde.
Directed by: Donald G. Jackson
The world has been decimated by nuclear war. 68% of all men were killed in the great war and the majority of the remaining population are sterile due to high levels of radiation. Adding to humanity’s problems, the newly-formed race of mutant frogmen spawned from the nuclear fallout have now begun kidnapping and enslaving fertile human females.
So, Frogtown is basically just Detroit?
Recently captured criminal Sam Hell (his actual last name is Hellman, but he goes by Sam Hell, because it’s Roddy Piper, so shut up) is one of the few remaining men who still has working swimmers in his pants. In fact, his levels are the highest ever tested by Med Tech, the branch of the provisional government responsible for overseeing the repopulation of the human race. In exchange for his, umm, reproductive cooperation, his criminal record will be wiped clean.
An anthropomorphic frog in a fez…I’ve had dreams like this.
Unfortunately for Mr. Hell, this means until he fulfills his contractual obligations, he, and his particularly potent package have become property of the government. So, with his government-issued, explosive chastity belt strapped to his junk (to discourage him running off and also to prevent any unauthorized, uhh, deposits), he and his two Med Tech handlers, Spangle and Centinella (played by Sandahl Bergman and Cec Verell, respectively), head out into the frog-controlled wastes to rescue the kidnapped women and impregnate any fertile ladies they happen to stumble upon along the way.
Some guys have all the luck.
An anthropomorphic frog with a chainsaw…I’ve had nightmares like this.
Now this is a quality b-movie, my friends. Of course, anything starring Rowdy Roddy Piper immediately gets a few bonus points from me, but when you throw in the mutant, anthropomorphic frogs, a bunch of beautiful women, and a plot so ludicrous it could’ve come straight out of a side quest from the Fallout series of video games, you’ve got yourself legitimate b-movie gold.
“Oh. THAT’S why they call you ‘Hot Rod.’”
Given Hell Comes to Frogtown’s low budget nature, the special effects should be applauded. In fact, I suspect the majority of the film’s budget was allocated to the effects department. The faces of the frogmen are reasonably realistic, articulate, and expressive enough to actually be believable. The crew in charge of the animatronics did an amazing job and deserve a lot of credit for this film being as entertaining as it is.
“From my cold, green hands!”
Of course, there are the obligatory one-liners from Piper (“Eat lead, froggies!”), along with solid performances by Bergdahl and Rory Calhoun. However, my personal favorite is Cec Verell, who doesn’t have a ton of screen time, but when she is onscreen, she manages to come across as not only smoking hot–all while sporting the most butch haircut imaginable–but as a fully competent and complete badass, as well.
Totally naked, except for fingerless gloves, is my new fetish.
Hell Comes to Frogtown knows exactly what it is and it doesn’t try to be anything else. It doesn’t try to do a lot, staying within its budgetary limitations with minimal locations and effects, but what it does, it does very well. It’s ridiculous, funny, sleazy, and completely over the top. Yes it does have some problems, the most glaring to me being Med Tech’s questionable decision to send one of the few remaining fertile males out on a dangerous, potentially deadly mission instead of having him stay in a safe location, storing up baby batter until his right arm fell off. Though admittedly, that would’ve been a much less enjoyable movie (unless you’re into that kind of thing. It’s cool. I’m not judging), so I am more than happy to overlook that little lapse in logic in order to be so thoroughly entertained.
Reviewed by Derek “Baby Batter” Miller
Posted On August 17, 2018
Video Clip – “Eat lead, froggies!”
Additional Screenshots (Click an image to view full-size)
