Kraa! The Sea Monster



1998 | Color | 69 min.

Starring: Michael Guerin, Jerry Lentz, Jon Simanton, R.L. McMurry, Teal Merchande, Robert Garcia, Robert J. Ferrelli, Jeff Rector, Jeffery Meyer, Leon W. Grant, David Wall, Deborah Hatch, Stephen Martines (as Colton Scott), Candida Tolentino, Alison Lohman, Anthony Furlong, John Paul Fedele, J.W. Perra, and Steve Blum (uncredited voice).

Directed By: Aaron Osbourne and Dave Parker

Bored with being stuck deep beneath the surface of his cold, dead planet, the dastardly, skull-faced Lord Doom (Michael Guerin, Jerry Lentz voice) decides it’s time for a new conquest. On the advice of his undersized advisor, Chamberlain (Jon Simanton), he sets his sights on planet Earth. To carry out his plans of interstellar world domination, Lord Doom employs the services of Kraa, the giant, “intergalactic world wrecker for hire,” to destroy Earth’s civilization for reasons that are never fully explained. Hey, if your name is Lord Doom, I guess you have to live up to it, right?

He came to Earth for a rousing game of peek-a-boo.

Standing in this bargain-bin Skeletor’s way are four members of the intergalactic police force known as the Planet Patrol. Unfortunately for our heroes (which includes a very young Alison Lohman, star of Drag Me To Hell, in her first movie role), their attempts to thwart Lord Doom’s plans are immediately stopped when the vinyl-clad overlord blasts their space base (which strongly resembles the Death Star) with a killshot laser beam thingy, rendering them essentially useless for the rest of the film.

I think our captain is well on his way to his own #MeToo moment…

With their ship out of action, our less-than-heroic heroes are forced to call upon the services of the only Planet Patrol agent near Earth at the time, Mogyar (voiced by J.W. Perra). Despite being a member of the galaxy’s most elite police force, Mogyar is essentially a barely-mobile, semi-aquatic snail. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt his prowess as an officer. I’m sure he would be very effective were he assigned to a planet inhabited by sentient hordes of malevolent vegetation. He would no doubt excel at a mission involving the complete ruination of Lord Doom’s backyard tomato garden. Unfortunately for us, he’s headed to Earth.

“Oh, sweet. My copy of Intergalactic Mollusk Quarterly is here.”

Once on Earth, he meets up with a burly, philosophical biker named Bobby (R.L. McMurry) and a sassy diner owner named Alma (Teal Marchande). After teaching Mogyar to speak English (he meant to land in Italy but made a wrong turn at Austria before crash-landing in Jersey), Alma and Bobby team up with the little crime-fighting space-mollusk to cobble together a weapon to defeat the gigantic, rampaging fish monster. Eventually, with the help of the disabled Planet Patrol crew and the galaxy’s fastest laser (it travels 24 light years in about 10 seconds), they are able to defeat Kraa (thanks in large part to Kraa’s decision to be a bro by waiting patiently in front of the kill laser to give the good guys enough time to blow him the hell up) and save Earth from total annihilation.

“For the last time, you are not the Lizard King!”

Kraa! The Sea Monster is a pretty bad film, even by the loosened standards of kaiju. The three different storylines (Planet Patrol, Mogyar and friends, and the footage of Kraa destroying things) never feel connected at all. The total lack of integration between the different plotlines, coupled with Planet Patrol and Lord Doom’s derivative costumes make Kraa! The Sea Monster feel more like an extended episode of Power Rangers than a fully fleshed out giant monster flick.

“Now I will show you a trick I learned in prison.”

To be fair, the movie does have a few things going for it. Kraa’s monster suit does look pretty cool, if a bit goofy, and it has a better range of movement than a lot of other monster suits in similar films. The highlight of the film is definitely Mogyar. The character is definitely original (I’ve seen a lot of bad movies and this is the first extraterrestrial, paramilitary escargot I have ever encountered) and manages to be genuinely entertaining throughout. Mogyar aside, Kraa! The Sea Monster is a rather forgettable giant monster romp. Probably worth a watch for some, but it certainly won’t appear in anyone’s top ten list.

 

Reviewed By Derek! “The Space-Mollusk” Miller
Posted September 28, 2018


Video Clip – Mogyar vs. Alma


Additional Screenshots (Click an image to view full size)








 

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