The final film of the Francis-Cardoza troika, Night Train To Mundo Fine (better known, thanks to Mystery Science Theater 3000, as Red Zone Cuba), is the culmination of all Francis’ apparent hatred towards the world. There are no redeeming characters, no morality, and no hope. Nothing but unpleasant, nasty characters doing unpleasant, nasty things.
This time around Francis put himself in the lead role, whether because he was simply looking to save some cash, or if he felt that no one else was capable of imbuing the character with such unbridled hatred and loathsomeness, we’ll never know, but I suspect the latter. Francis plays Griffin, an escaped convict who meets up with two drifters, Landis (Tony Cardoza) and Cook. Together these three schmucks devise a scheme to make a quick buck by joining up for the Bay of Pigs invasion. This brilliant plan goes about as well as could be expected, and the gang is quickly captured in Cuba and scheduled for execution, but escape thanks to the blinding stupidity and incompetence of their captors.
Actual audience reaction to Red Zone Cuba.
Once back in the States, the loathsome trio fills the rest of the film’s running time stealing, assaulting, raping, and murdering their way across the land, until finally Griffin and his gang are tracked down and, as you may have guessed, Griffin meets swift vigilante justice in the form of gunfire emanating from a light aircraft.
“Well, I needed the cash…”
Night Train To Mundo Fine is without doubt, Coleman Francis’ darkest, ugliest, and most misanthropic film. Despite the wonderful addition of a brief cameo by b-movie stalwart, John Carradine (who also sings the opening theme song!), there is simply no one and nothing to root for in this film, save for the end credits.
Back to Part 1: Introduction
Back to Part 2: The Beast of Yucca Flats
Back to Part 3: The Skydivers
Part 5: Conclusion
Francis’ second effort, The Skydivers, is a depressing, boring, and bitter little tale of betrayal and revenge, set in the world’s most depressing skydiving facility. Tony Cardoza stars (sort of) as Harry, the co-owner and operator, along with his wife, Beth, of the aforementioned uber-depressing skydiving facility. Harry is having an affair with a woman named Suzy, who herself is the girlfriend of one of Harry’s ex-employees, an aircraft mechanic named Frankie (played by frequent Ray Dennis Steckler collaborator, Titus Moede).
This love quadrangle quickly leads to a confrontation between Harry and Frankie, and eventually even Harry’s wife Beth finds herself tempted by another man, creating what is quite a remarkable love “quintangle” in which not a single member of the group is even the least bit attractive in either appearance or personality.
Just keep staring at this picture…I dare you.
The Skydivers is quite a different film from Francis’ first, in that it actually has a plot, dialog, and characters. Oh, it still features the same dreary setting, confusing editing, and blinding continuity errors of Beast, but there is at least an attempt to use actual characters to tell an actual story this time around. Unfortunately, this story is told mostly through endless scenes of dull, gray people having dull, gray conversations in dull, gray rooms. In fairness though, these dull, talky scenes are occasionally interrupted by one of a seemingly endless number of scenes featuring dull, gray people skydiving. It really is a smorgasbord of dullness.
Of course, as with every film in the Coleman Francis oeuvre, the stupid decisions of morally-bankrupt morons cause innocent people suffer and die, and in the end, divine justice is inevitably doled out from a gun-toting vigilante in a light airplane.
Notice the look of pure, unbridled joy on Mr. Francis’ face as he guns down his fellow human being.
Back to Part 1: Introduction
Back to Part 2: The Beast of Yucca Flats
Part 4: Night Train to Mundo Fine, aka. Red Zone Cuba
Part 5: Conclusion
Filmed over the course of a year and financed by Tony Cardoza and some of his welding friends, The Beast of Yucca Flats is almost impossible to do justice with the written word. The film stars 400lb ex-wrestler and b-movie legend, Tor Johnson, as Joseph Javorsky, a nuclear scientist who has defected from Russia with sensitive documents about a secret Soviet moon landing. The films opens–after a baffling and completely non-sequitur scene involving a nude woman–with Javorsky being pursued by KGB agents. Eventually the good doctor stumbles into the path of a nuclear explosion (d’oh!) and is turned into the titular “beast” of Yucca Flats.
Pre-Beast Tor
The “Beast” (aka, Tor Johnson with ripped clothes and wet toilet paper stuck to his face) terrorizes the inhabitants of Yucca Flats until, with the aid of light aircraft and a posse of vigilantes, the former nuclear scientist is gunned down without trial–a recurring theme in the work of Coleman Francis, as you will see.
There really isn’t much in the way of plot or characters in The Beast of Yucca Flats. Instead there are simply random scenes of people doing various things–mostly nondescript people wandering aimlessly around the desert–strung together in a feeble attempt at something resembling a coherent plot. Because the film was shot without sound, the story is told almost entirely through ever-present narration which is delivered by none other than Coleman Francis himself. It’s this odd, stream of consciousness narration which becomes the film’s most memorable aspect–with Coleman uttering bizarre, solemn quips about “flag(s) on the moon,” folks being, “caught in the wheels of progress,” and other wonderfully pessimistic, pretentious nonsense.
Beast-Tor…Yeah, I can’t really tell the difference, either.
For a film which clocks in at well under an hour in length, The Beast of Yucca Flats is an absolute chore to sit through if you are actually attempting to pay attention, but it is notable for at least one reason. Because of the efforts of Coleman Francis, the worst film Tor Johnson ever appeared in was not an Ed Wood production, and that earns at least a bit of respect from this b-movie nerd.
Back to Part 1: Introduction
Part 3: The Skydivers
Part 4: Night Train to Mundo Fine, aka. Red Zone Cuba
Part 5: Conclusion
