Philoso-B! – The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Frasier is my favorite sitcom of all time. I believe I’ve seen every episode at least a dozen times. One or twice a year, I’ll restart the series from the beginning and watch it all over again. What does my unhealthy obsession with one of the best sitcoms ever produced have to do with this site? Well, a few weeks back, while in the middle of yet another rewatch session, the following exchange between Frasier and his father caught my attention:


Upon returning home from viewing the latest, and sadly fictional, Jean-Claude Van Damme film:

Martin: “Didn’t you learn anything from that movie?”

Frasier: “Yes. Only that bullets are useless against a man who can kick really high.”


That great observation of the typical Van Damme film got me thinking about how many silly little lessons could be gleaned from bad movies—the philosophy of b-movies, if you will. So, forget all about traditional concepts of epistemology, aesthetics, and ethics–we’ve got Philoso-B! That is and ought to be all you need!

In this inaugural installment of’s Philoso-B!, we take our lesson from the 1987 film, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.

While there are many lessons we can take from this particular film (not the least of which being that the ‘80s were mostly a dark and evil time), the most important lesson comes from the gastronomically-gifted character of Windy Winston. In the following clip, we see how he deals with an insult about he and his friends’ lack of aesthetic appeal (in layman’s terms, they are circus fugly!).

The lesson learned? Any personal attack, no matter how small, must be avenged….one hundred fold. Preferably with flatulence. Horrible, otherworldly, room-clearing flatulence.


If you have an example of a lesson you’ve learned from bad movies, feel free to post it in the comments, e-mail it to us at, or send it to us on Twitter, @BadMovieRealm. If we like it, we’ll use it in an upcoming installment of Philoso-B! and give you credit! So start submitting!


BONUS! I leave you with this picture of the aforementioned Jean-Claude Van Damme, courtesy of The Guardian. No caption is necessary.



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