1967 Color 79min
Starring: Yeong-Il Oh, Jeong-Im Nam, Sun-Jae Lee, Moon Kang, and Kwang Ho Lee.
Directed By: Kim Ki-Duk
It must be hard to be a kaiju. I mean, one day you are buried miles beneath the earth's surface sleeping comfortably, just minding your own business, when somebody goes and moves an ancient stone idol. Of course you really don't care about some stupid statue, but because of a goofy tribal ritual that was performed hundreds of years ago, you are now contractually obligated to rain death and destruction upon the fine citizens of Tokyo. It happens all of the time.
“Pass it to me, I'm open!!!”It doesn't end there. Once awakened it usually doesn't get much better for your average giant monster. Quietly wasting away your days on Monster Island, aimlessly wandering around, occasionally fighting with other kaiju. The monotony must be unbearable. Then when you do finally decide to escape to the city for a little fun, the entire Japanese Self Defense Force swarms on you and you are forced to kill everyone with your atomic breath. This happens at least once a year, by my count.
It's hard enough for the heavy hitters like Godzilla and Gamera, but what about those lesser known monsters. Monsters like Zarkorr, Gorgo, and Yongary. These guys have it really rough. Take Yongary for example. After a nuclear test wakes him from his thousand-year slumber, Yongary decides to go out and explore the city of Seoul. You know, see the sights, meet the locals, maybe go out for a little dancing. As luck would have it, as soon as he shows up in Seoul, he has a small misunderstanding with the South Korean military and ends up being killed by an obnoxious short-shorts-wearing kid and a giant bottle of Mr. Clean. I mean seriously, c'mon!
You'd think that it would've been bad enough that Yongary is basically a rip-off of Gamera, with just a dash of Godzilla thrown in for good measure. Or that the special effects used in his film are terrible even by 1950's standards, let alone 1967. On top of that the atrocious English dub fails to even name several of the main characters. In addition to all of that Yongary has a very embarrassing dance number with the film's obligatory brat and that still wasn't the end of his pain. Nope, in the end, poor Yongary ends up dead in a river, twitching like Gary Busey, and hemorrhaging from his rectum. Talk about piling on.
Like I said, it's rough being a kaiju. Especially if you are a third-rate, Korean kaiju.
