The Ancient Art of Potato Bonsai

Enlightenment, without the wait.

I have recently taken an interest in the ancient art of bonsai. Now, I haven’t purchased any trees or pots yet, but the topic has piqued my interest. I have a few reservations about getting started, however. For one, I’m not a very patient individual. I’m also quite the procrastinator (Anyone who is familiar with this site will attest to my patented proclivity for procrastination…and fondness of alliteration). These are troublesome traits for someone looking to enter the world of bonsai. They require almost constant attention, including pruning, fertilizing, training, sheltering during harsh weather, pest control, and daily (sometimes more than daily) watering. Not to mention years of investment before any sort of noticeable reward.

So, in lieu of trying my hand at an actual bonsai, I have embarked upon a slightly less taxing, but hopefully no less rewarding, journey of horticultural discovery: The Bonsai Potato.

Behold, The Bonsai Potato kit (Spud sold separately)

Join me won’t you, as I begin my journey of self-discovery and enlightenment with my Bonsai Potato…

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Day 1

My Bonsai Potato: Day 1 - August 27, 2006

Well obviously since this is day one, there isn’t much to report. My potato is situated quite comfortably in his new surroundings and is well on his way to becoming a beautiful bonsai…maybe. As per the instructions, I have tucked the tiny tuber away in a dark place (i.e. my sock drawer) to begin his new life as a beautiful work of living art.

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6 months later...

My ‘Tater: Month 6 - February 27, 2007

Well, 6 months later and we can now see the culmination of my hard work and dedication. Actually, the potato did most of the work, but I helped, I think. I’m officially calling my journey of self discovery and enlightenment complete at this point. What did I learn about myself, you ask? Well not much really, as I initially intended for this to be a bi-weekly feature and promptly forgot about it for six months. I recently stumbled across the beginnings of this article and decided to go ahead and post it anyway. Despite this, I have confirmed a few things about myself…

• I am a hopeless procrastinator.
• I am hopelessly lazy and forgetful, as well.
• Any actual bonsai that I might attempt is doomed to die an untimely death.
• And finally I have learned that I am really not a fan of this whole “self-discovery” thing.

Hmm, maybe I'll have to try my hand at a Bonsai Kitten instead...

-Derek Miller
2/27/07